雅思寫(xiě)作的滿(mǎn)分是9分，而7.5分的雅思寫(xiě)作文章已經(jīng)稱(chēng)得上是優(yōu)秀的雅思寫(xiě)作范文，一般來(lái)說(shuō)要想申請(qǐng)不錯(cuò)的國(guó)外大學(xué)的話雅思成績(jī)最好是7分或者7分以上，想要獲得7.5分的雅思寫(xiě)作分?jǐn)?shù)，首先語(yǔ)法一定要過(guò)關(guān)，其次就是文章整體結(jié)構(gòu)和推理都要合理，下面就是萬(wàn)佳留學(xué)小編收集的一篇7.5分的雅思寫(xiě)作范文，老師也將從細(xì)節(jié)方面對(duì)這篇文章的優(yōu)勢(shì)做出分析。

　　Band 7.5

　　Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

　　Fixing punishments for each type of crime has been a debatable issue. There are many arguments supporting both views, those for and those against fixed punishments.

　　On the one hand, fixed punishments will have a deterring effect on society. Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if they are convicted with a given crime, will reconsider committing this act in the first place. This deterring effect also leads to social stability and security, through minimizing the number of crime committed. If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of a reason for having committed the crime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely arbitrary. This would result into criminals getting away with their crimes and into a high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts.

　　On the other hand, taking the circumstances of a crime and its motivation into consideration is a prerequisite for establishing and ensuring justice and equity. A person killing in self-defense cannot be compared to a serial killer, moving from one victim to the next.

　　In my opinion and intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity. There have to be fixed punishments for all crimes. however, criminal laws have to provide for a minimum and a maximum for the punishment and the laws also have to foresee certain cases of exemptions. An example for setting minimum and maximum penalties is Completion Law where a person being held liable of a crime under this law will be convicted to pay a fine, according to the harm caused by the violation and the profit gained by the violator through committing the crime.As for the exemptions, in some countries the law exempts thiefs stealing food during a period of famine taking into consideration the distress and hunger. Also a person killing in self-defense will be exempted from punishment.

　　這篇7.5分的雅思寫(xiě)作例文可以說(shuō)各方面都做的還不錯(cuò)，但是在paraphrase這一點(diǎn)仍有失誤，作者應(yīng)該把penalty早早提到文章的前面替換掉一些頻繁出現(xiàn)的punishment, 同時(shí)應(yīng)該多收集點(diǎn)其它的詞，如：castigation, penalization, discipline等。 但是他關(guān)于收集犯罪類(lèi)的詞匯上顯然homework做的比較足，所以用了很多專(zhuān)業(yè)的詞匯：

　　jury 陪審團(tuán); penal 刑事的; arbitrary 武斷的;injustice 不公正; subjective approach 主觀的方法; prerequisite 前提; self-defense 正當(dāng)防衛(wèi); serial killer 連環(huán)殺手; exemption 豁免; liable 應(yīng)負(fù)法律責(zé)任的; convict 定…罪; violation 違背。

　　從語(yǔ)法上來(lái)看，這篇essay 除使用了定語(yǔ)從句外，還有大量的分詞短語(yǔ)作定語(yǔ)，如：

　　Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if they are convicted with a given crime, will reconsider committing this act in the first place. (現(xiàn)在分詞)

　　A person killing in self-defense cannot be compared to a serial killer, moving from one victim to the next. (現(xiàn)在分詞)

　　according to the harm caused by the violation and the profit gained by the violator through committing the crime. (過(guò)去分詞)

　　被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)也有展現(xiàn)：

　　a person being held liable of a crime under this law will be convicted to pay a fine.

　　這兩個(gè)語(yǔ)法點(diǎn)都被囊括在了幾個(gè)寫(xiě)作高分語(yǔ)法點(diǎn)中，所以同學(xué)在掌握好了以上六條建議之后應(yīng)該在這些寫(xiě)作高分語(yǔ)法句型上花些精力和時(shí)間，以助自己的高分夢(mèng)想早日實(shí)現(xiàn)。

　　最后強(qiáng)調(diào)下，寫(xiě)作時(shí)論證一定要全面，尤其是對(duì)于雙觀點(diǎn)的題型。 更是要掌握好兩方論證的順序和篇幅分配，最后在總結(jié)時(shí)要注意是否和正文思路吻合。

　　總之，以上的7.5分雅思寫(xiě)作范文在語(yǔ)法、詞匯上都錯(cuò)的很不錯(cuò)，唯一的小瑕疵就是有些詞匯過(guò)渡重復(fù)使用，而且整體的句式運(yùn)用相當(dāng)?shù)呢S富，這都是以上這篇7.5分雅思寫(xiě)作范文的優(yōu)勢(shì)處。